Browsing Posts published by Mitzi

First Parade and Boot Camp.

Mitzi’s thoughts on the day.

Well, the day dawned bright and I was up and ready especially early.  Today was the day I was posted my new ‘recruits’ in the onging war on the Evil Axis forces that threaten our entire existence, our very way of life down here at The Plots.

Private Odin was the first to arrive with his father Ian.

Ian let him out of his transport, and he came shyly out, seemingly unused to the bright daylight.  Well, on first inspection, what a particularly fine recruit!  His fine, black coat was freshly washed -even behind the ears!

He was brought over to meet his new superior officer, and we briefly touched noses in the customary ‘cat way’.  This boy smelled good!

I took a moment to look him over more fully, moving slowly round him, sniffing in various places, as you do, and apart from the slight signs that he’s been somewhat over-pampered (…okay, he was a little ‘fat’, but that’ll soon come off!..), I could instantly see that this was officer material!

He has bright, green eyes, a long, aristocratic face, alert ears, and fine whiskers.

After he’d got ‘settled in’ and stowed his kit, I took him on a tour of our facilities, including our new HQ (…okay, we haven’t got the signage up yet, but Big Person Emma will hopefully be seeing to that…), and he seemed very impressed.

One thing I did notice was his accent.  No doubt ‘Public School’ because he was very well spoken, polite and courteous, and, well, he speaks like a gentleman.

Then came full inspection and the review of his record to see if he could rise to the rank of sergeant and become a full member of The Corps.

   “Private Odin!!” I called out.
   “Yes, SAH!!!” he replied.
   “You know why you’re here, lad?”
   “Yes, SAH!!!”
   “Then I need evidence of your ‘special ops’ training, specifically ‘The Mouse Simulator’ device your father mentioned.”
    “Yes, SAH!!!  Spent MANY hours on the simulator, SAH!!!”
    “Are you any good, Private?” I asked.
   “Yes, SAH!!!  Can confirm kill within fifteen seconds of switch-on, SAH!!!”
   “Excellent.  I need to see you in action, Private!”
   “Yes, SAH!!! Immediately, SAH!!!”

And with that, Odin’s father brought out the simulator, and true to his word, he ‘killed it’ well within the fifteen seconds required.  Immediate promotion!

   “Private Odin, I now promote you in-the-field to be ‘Acting Sergeant’!  Well done!”

And that was that!

Private Alfie, on the other hand was an entirely different matter.

He and his father arrived late (…I really cannot stand tardiness…), apologising profusely.  Nick let him out of his case, and blow me if he didn’t scamper straight off!

Obviously, this lad was well used to the ‘Great Outdoors’, and this will, I have to say, stand him in great stead in the coming weeks and months.

   “Aaaaallllfffiiiieeee!!!” called his father, obviously used to this intolerable behaviour.  This private would quickly need teaching a lesson!

   “Come here, laddo!” called his dad, and sure enough, after just an annoying amount of time, he poked his head through the long bushes and grasses.

Well, I must say he looked a completely different cat to the idle slob I had seen in the photos!  His head was erect and his tail straight up, eyes bright.  Could this really be the same animal, I asked myself.  Then I looked more closely at his fur, and realised that yes, it was the same cat I’d seen in the photographs.  His fur had great patches missing -no doubt clawed out in fights- and beneath these holes, he had newly-formed scar tissue.  His head in particular was a complete disgrace with scratches, more patches of fur missing, freshly healing scabs all over.  This lad had certainly been ‘in the wars’, and seemed strangely proud of it!  Whem I looked him over more fully, I immediately saw the reason.  This young recruit hadn’t been newtered!

This could be good for The Corps, in that Alfie will always be ready for a fight, but it could be bad if he starts trying to ‘chat me up’!  My goodness me, no…

   “Private Alfie!” I barked.
   “Sah!” he replied   
   “You know why you’re here, Private?” I asked.
   “Yes, Sah!”
   “Apparently, you have knocked out an enemy pigeon patrol, single-handedly?”
   “Do you have PROOF of this, Private?”
   “Yes, Sah!  My father has it right here in a bag for inspection, Sah!” he replied.

And with that, his father opened a bag, and sure enough, a dead pigeon lay inside.

Putting it on the ground, Nick laid it out for inspection.

   “Why is this pigeon wet?” I asked, suspicions raised.
   “Er, it must have got sweaty in the bag, Major.” replied Nick.

I thoroughly checked the carcass, and could find no other fault with it.  It must be true!  Private Alfie really did bring down a pigeon!

   “Okay, Private!” I commanded,  “You are now hereby given a field-promotion to ‘Acting Sergeant’, the same as Odin!  Join him and fall-in!”

And with that, they both did, though Sergeant Alfie’s demeanour was a little lacking, and he was too-easily distracted.

That day, I was very easy on the pair of them.  Sergeant Odin because he is so new to this ‘Outdoors Life’, and Sergeant Alfie because I wanted to put him at his ease to see what was underneath his outer ‘laddish’ shell.

So, I can report that the first batch of new recruits is so-far fitting in very well, but the first training session will sort the cats out from the kittens.

Oh yes.

All these Big People!

Today, on the whole, was a good day down at my allotments.

Mitzi looking thoughtful.

Mitzi looking thoughtful.

There were soooo many Big People, I really had my paws full keeping them in check and under control.

This shot is of me, a little camera-shy it has to be said (…I just hate it when the flash goes off…), but what you can’t see here is that I’m sat on my callers book.

The Big People think its for them to record numbers and such, but its really for me.  I mean, I have to keep records of how many people come to see me, don’t I?

Here’s a shot of me getting a little quality R & R before the storm; catching up on a little sleep.  Big Person, Diane fed me a short while ago, so I’m just taking a little time out to let my lunch settle a little.  Well, you wouldn’t want me getting indigestion, would you?

A little R & R before the storm.

A little R & R before the storm.

Anyway, I didn’t really get the time today to be properly fussed and adored because of the weather.  The heavens opened in the afternoon, and had I not sheltered from the rain, I would have been ‘One Wet Cat’, and as everybody knows, ‘One Wet Cat’ = ‘One Seriously Unhappy Cat’, and that would be Not Good. 

As it is, I have to spend hours every single day to keep my fur and claws in tip-top shape, and getting a drenching would have put me back several hours, and may even have jeapordized tonight’s mission.

Good news then that They put up the big-blue-gazebo-thingy, which meant I could shelter and be near to Them.

So, I’ve been told by the ‘Higher Ups’ that it will be this weekend that I get my new recruits, and while I’m a little apprehensive of their arrival, it’ll be good to get some fresh blood into The Corps.  Heaven knows, the Axis have been getting new recruits all summer, and we are being seriously out-numbered by their air corps.  After their basic training is over, and they have successfully passed (…or re-taken the exam a dozen times in Private Alfie’s case…), I need them very quickly to help me make serious in-roads into the enemy.

‘Basic Training’ will just be the standard stuff.  Sniffing out the prey, lying still and waiting, The Pounce (…difficult one, this…), and finally The Kill.

We’ll start off small, (…I understand that Private Odin has quite some experience with his pet in combat-simulations…), probably with insects and the like, but gradually, as the days and weeks unfold, I hope to eventually to lead them in hunting the real pests of wood pigeons and the lightening-fast squirrels of which I’m so fond.

When they can conquer that feat, well, they’ll truly be Soldiers For The Allies, and they’ll hopefully do me proud.

Still, that’s a long way away yet.

More news as it happens from The Plots!


Today was a hot as yesterday.  And the day before.  And I think the day before that, but, well, I’m only a cat (…allegedly…), so my memory isn’t what it should be.

Mitzi, chilling out.

Mitzi, chilling out.

It’s just too hot to do much at all today.

After all the fun, fuss and attention of the last few days, well, I’m utterly exhausted!

I dunno.  I work all night to keep The Evil Axis Forces of slugs and pigeons and squirrels off my Plots, then I’m ordered to ‘perform’ during the day and early evening -which should be my ‘down time’, no wonder I’m so physically and emotionally drained.

Good job then that once again, Big People Diane and Nick came today, meaning I’m mostly relieved of my nighttime duties.

Here you see me (…I know, so un-ladylike…) relaxing after Big Person, Nick fed me this afternoon.

Jolly good job he did, otherwise I’d have to be out again tonight!

Still, the weather seems to be holding, and things are pretty quiet until my two new ‘recruits’ arrive, so I’m going to catch up on a little ‘R&R’.

Summer is on the cusp, so in a few short weeks, I’ll be making ever more daring raids into enemy territory, and all the danger that brings.  A little rest is in order, don’t you think?

Orders? What orders?

This is getting silly!



I was on another exhausting mission last night, so here I am getting my head down after I got back and the de-briefing was done with.

Big Person Nick has just fed me, so a little quality R&R was in order, but no!

Today was a ‘Big Day’ for The Plots, and therefore Allied Forces, so I was expected to be on my best behaviour and looking spick and span as I had to ‘meet & greet’ loads of Allied Supporters in the afternoon and evening.  They would be unveiling our latest weapon against The Evil Axis!

A ‘state of the art’ HQ for myself and my troops.

Soon to be equipped with the latest in arms and weaponry, it will be the ‘Hub’ of our operations.

Unfortunately, The Offical Secrets Act means I can’t tell you exact specifications, but suffice to say, it should tip the war effort firmly in our direction!

The ‘cover’ for our base?  Well, it will be well-disguised as a humble greenhouse, with all manner of plants and growing things to put the enemy off his guard.

In the meantime, I eagerly await my re-inforcements of Privates Odin and Alfie, but they’ll certainly need knocking into shape, and pretty quickly too!

More soon…


Don’t get me wrong, I just love this heat.

It means I have every excuse to do less than nothing; not that I ever really need much of one normally, but you know what I mean…

A fortnight ago, well, a fortnight by The Big People’s clocks you understand, it was much cooler, so I was kept very busy most days, out catching and eating everything from birds to my complete favourite, squirrels.

I just love those things.  Pretty difficult to catch, but when I do, I quickly kill it, then eat it.

All of it.  Delicious!

Well, apart from the tail, you understand; I keep their tails as ‘trophies’.

Now, the Big Person, Diane has taken some pictures of me as I eat one, but she says that our readers would really, honestly, not like to see them.  Especially if its just after their dinner.  Dunno why, but well, she’s The Big People’s boss, and apparently what she says, goes.

Well, that’s as maybe, but when I want something, then she quickly finds out just who’s the boss round here.

So, this last few days has seen The Big People here every day, which has been pretty good for me, all told.

Not only do I love the Big People’s company (…please don’t tell them, it’ll only go to their heads…), but as I’ve said before it means I don’t have to worry much about food for the whole day -They’ll feed me twice! See how well I have them trained!

Anyway, I’m much too tired by all this heat, so if you don’t mind, there’ll be no photos today, but if I can be bothered, I may post some more up of me soon.

Oh, and rumour has it that I have two new recruits starting pretty soon.  Young Odin (…who owns Ian…) and Young Alfie (…who owns Nick (no relation)).

By all accounts, they’re still pretty raw to this outdoor-living, but I’ll soon lick them into shape.

Oh yes.

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